The holidays bring families together in a way few other times of year do. In Franklin, that might mean adult children driving in from Nashville, grandparents staying for a long weekend, and siblings in the same room for the first time in months. All of that togetherness creates an opening most families never seem to find during the busy rest of the year: a quiet chance to talk honestly about plans, wishes, and the documents that put those wishes in writing.
Estate planning is rarely anyone's idea of festive conversation. But reviewing a will and the documents that support it does not have to be grim or complicated. Think of it as a practical housekeeping check, the same way you might confirm an aging parent's insurance is current or that a college-age child has a bank account set up. This article walks through the specific documents worth reviewing while everyone is in town, how to raise the subject gently, and when it makes sense to get professional help.
1. Why the Holidays Are the Right Time to Talk
Estate planning conversations stall for a simple reason: everyone is scattered. One child lives in Franklin, another in Memphis, and a parent spends part of the year elsewhere. Scheduling a serious family discussion by phone across time zones and work schedules almost never happens. The holidays solve that problem by putting the right people in the same place for a few days.
There is also an emotional reason the timing works. When family is gathered and the mood is warm, people tend to be more open about what matters to them. A parent may be more willing to explain why they chose a particular person to handle their affairs, or an adult child may feel comfortable asking a question they have wondered about for years. Those honest moments are far harder to create over a quick weeknight call.
None of this means turning Thanksgiving dinner into a legal meeting. The goal is to have a short, calm conversation, confirm what documents exist, note what might be out of date, and agree to take next steps after the holidays. Even a fifteen-minute talk can surface issues that would otherwise sit unaddressed for another year.
Example: A Franklin Family's Quiet Conversation
Imagine the Carters, who gather each December at their parents' home near downtown Franklin. One evening after dinner, their adult daughter mentions that a coworker recently went through a difficult probate because a parent's will could not be found. That prompts her mother to admit she is not sure where her own will is stored, or whether it still names the right people. Nobody argues; they simply agree to locate the documents over the weekend and call an attorney in January. A casual comment turned into a concrete plan.
Key point: The holidays offer something estate planning badly needs: the right people, in the same room, with time to talk. Use the opportunity for a short, low-pressure conversation, not a formal meeting.
2. The Will: Your Foundation Document
The will is the cornerstone of most estate plans, and it is the first document worth reviewing. A wills document directs who receives your property, names a personal representative to carry out your wishes, and, critically, can name guardians for minor children. If a family member does not have a will at all, Tennessee's intestacy rules decide who inherits, and those rules may not match what the person actually wants.
Even an existing will can drift out of date. Births, deaths, marriages, divorces, moves to a new state, and changes in assets can all make a will no longer reflect current wishes. While family is together, it is worth confirming a few basics without reading every line aloud.
Questions to ask about an existing will:
- Does the will still name the people you would choose today as personal representative and, if applicable, guardian for minor children?
- Have there been any marriages, divorces, births, or deaths in the family since the will was signed?
- Does the will reflect property or accounts acquired or sold since it was written?
- Does everyone know where the original signed document is physically stored?
- Has the person moved to Tennessee from another state since signing, which may warrant a review for state-specific requirements?
That last point about storage matters more than people expect. A will that cannot be located after death can complicate probate administration and create delays for the family. Simply confirming where the original signed document lives, and who can access it, is one of the most valuable things a holiday conversation can accomplish.
Key point: If a will does not exist, is years out of date, or cannot be found, those are the three most important things to flag during the holidays. Each is fixable with a short follow-up after the new year.
3. Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Directives
A will only takes effect after death. Just as important are the documents that protect someone while they are alive but unable to act for themselves. These are the documents families most often wish they had in place during a medical emergency, and they are easy to overlook because a healthy person rarely thinks about them.
A durable financial power of attorney lets a trusted person manage finances, pay bills, and handle property if someone becomes incapacitated. A healthcare power of attorney names someone to make medical decisions when the person cannot speak for themselves. An advance healthcare directives and living wills document records wishes about end-of-life and serious medical care, giving family guidance during the hardest moments.
There is also a practical privacy document that often gets forgotten. A HIPAA authorizations form allows named family members to receive medical information from providers. Without it, loved ones can find themselves shut out of basic communication with doctors at exactly the time they need to be involved.
Example: The Missing Documents During a Hospital Stay
Consider a father in his seventies who is generally healthy and has never gotten around to signing healthcare documents. During a holiday visit, his son notices how much his dad is relying on him for appointments and prescriptions. That observation prompts a gentle question: what happens if Dad ends up in the hospital and cannot speak for himself? They realize no one is legally authorized to make decisions or even receive medical updates. The family resolves to put a healthcare power of attorney and HIPAA authorization in place promptly, before a crisis forces the issue.
When these documents are missing and a person loses capacity, families sometimes have no choice but to pursue a court process for guardianship and conservatorship, which is more involved and more expensive than signing documents ahead of time. Reviewing powers of attorney during the holidays is one of the simplest ways to spare a family that outcome.
Key point: Documents that work during life, financial power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, advance directives, and HIPAA authorizations, are just as important as the will. Confirm each family member has them and that the named people are still the right choices.
4. Trusts and Beneficiary Designations
Not every family needs a trust, but for many Tennessee families a trust can help avoid probate, provide privacy, and set terms for how and when assets pass to loved ones. A revocable living trusts is a common tool that lets someone keep control of assets during life while directing where they go afterward, often without court involvement. When a revocable trust is in place, it is usually paired with a pour-over wills document that catches any assets not already moved into the trust.
If a family member already has a trust, the holiday check is less about rewriting it and more about confirming it is actually funded. A trust only controls the assets that have been retitled into it. It is common for people to sign a trust and then never move accounts or property into it, which undermines the entire plan. A conversation about whether the trust is funded, and whether a successor trustee is still the right person, can reveal a gap worth addressing with help from a lawyer and trust administration guidance when the time comes.
Families with a loved one who has a disability deserve special attention. A special needs trusts can allow a person to receive an inheritance without jeopardizing eligibility for important benefits. If a relative with special needs is named directly as a beneficiary of a will, insurance policy, or retirement account, that well-meaning choice could actually cause harm, making this a valuable topic to raise while family is together.
Beneficiary designations worth reviewing:
- Life insurance policies, especially after a marriage, divorce, or death in the family
- Retirement accounts such as 401(k)s and IRAs
- Payable-on-death and transfer-on-death bank and brokerage accounts
- Any account that still lists a former spouse or deceased person as beneficiary
Beneficiary designations deserve emphasis because they often override what a will says. Someone can update their will carefully and still have a life insurance policy pay out to an ex-spouse because the beneficiary form was never changed. These are quick to check and quick to fix, making them ideal for a holiday review.
Key point: If a family member has a trust, confirm it is funded and the trustee is still right. For everyone, review beneficiary designations, because those forms frequently control more money than the will itself.
5. Planning for Long-Term Care and Business Interests
Holiday gatherings often bring home how much an aging parent's needs have changed since last year. Perhaps a parent is slower on the stairs, more forgetful, or increasingly dependent on a spouse for daily tasks. These observations make it a sensible time to think about long-term care planning, which addresses how future care will be paid for and arranged before a crisis forces rushed decisions.
One piece of long-term care planning is understanding how care costs interact with public benefits. Medicaid planning involves strategies that must generally be put in place well before care is needed, because certain rules look back at past transfers. Starting those conversations early, rather than in the middle of an emergency, gives families far more options. The holidays are a natural moment to simply raise the subject and agree to learn more.
Families who own a business have an extra layer to consider. If a parent runs a company in the Franklin area, what happens to that business if they become incapacitated or pass away? A thoughtful plan addresses succession, ownership, and management. For those just starting out, business formation decisions can also shape how an interest passes to the next generation, and coordinating the business structure with the estate plan avoids conflicting instructions down the road.
Example: A Family Business and an Unspoken Plan
Picture a mother who owns a small retail business near Franklin and assumes her son will take it over someday. The son assumes the same thing, but they have never written anything down, and no document names who manages the company if their mother is suddenly unable to work. Over the holidays, a casual question from a daughter, 'What actually happens to the store if something happens to you?', reveals there is no plan at all. The family agrees to meet with an attorney to coordinate the business and the estate plan so the intention becomes an enforceable arrangement.
Key point: Changes you notice in a parent over the holidays, physical, mental, or in their business, are signals to begin long-term care and succession planning while there is still time to choose among good options.
6. How to Start the Conversation Without Making It Awkward
The documents are the easy part. The harder part, for most families, is simply raising the subject. Talking about wills, incapacity, and inheritance can feel like talking about death, and many people instinctively avoid it. A few small adjustments in approach can make the conversation feel natural rather than heavy.
Start by framing it around organization and peace of mind rather than money or mortality. Phrases like 'I want to make sure we could find your important papers if we ever needed them' land better than direct questions about who gets what. Lead with your own plan if you have one; a parent is often more receptive when a child says, 'I just updated my own documents and it got me thinking about yours.'
Gentle ways to open the topic:
- Mention a friend or colleague's recent experience, good or difficult, with settling an estate
- Offer to help gather and organize documents rather than asking to see their contents
- Suggest everyone, including the younger generation, get their own documents in order together
- Focus on practical access: where papers are kept and who to contact in an emergency
- Agree on a single, low-pressure next step, such as scheduling a consultation in the new year
It also helps to respect privacy. A parent may not want to disclose the dollar value of accounts or exactly how assets are divided, and that is entirely their right. The goal of a holiday conversation is not to extract details; it is to confirm that a plan exists, that it is current, and that the family knows where to turn. Reassure everyone that the specifics can stay private while the structure gets sorted out with professional help.
Key point: Keep the conversation warm, practical, and focused on organization rather than inheritance. Your aim is a shared next step, not a full accounting of the estate at the dinner table.
7. Turning Holiday Conversations Into a Real Plan
A good holiday conversation ends with a plan to act, not just good intentions that evaporate by January. Memories of what the family discussed fade quickly once everyone scatters back to their own homes and routines. Writing down a short list of next steps before the visit ends keeps the momentum going.
A holiday estate planning checklist:
- Confirm whether each family member has a current will, and where the original is stored
- Verify that financial power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, advance directive, and HIPAA documents exist and name the right people
- Check beneficiary designations on life insurance, retirement accounts, and payable-on-death accounts
- Confirm any existing trust is funded and the named trustee is still appropriate
- Note any special circumstances, such as a loved one with a disability or a family business, that need tailored planning
- Schedule a consultation with an estate planning attorney to update or create the documents
- Attend a workshop to learn the basics before meeting one-on-one
For families who want to understand the fundamentals before sitting down with an attorney, the firm offers a free Wills and Trusts Workshop that explains how wills, trusts, and related documents fit together in plain English. Attending together can be a comfortable, no-pressure way for several family members to get on the same page after the holidays.
The most important thing is to act while the conversation is fresh. A will drafted or updated in January reflects the clarity and goodwill of a December gathering far better than a plan that keeps getting postponed. Each document reviewed and put in place is one less burden on the people you love.
Key point: End your holiday visit with a written list of next steps and at least one scheduled action. Momentum from a family conversation is valuable, and it fades fast once everyone goes home.
Frequently asked questions
Is a will enough, or does my family also need trusts and powers of attorney?
A will is the foundation, but it only takes effect after death and does not help if someone becomes incapacitated while alive. Most complete plans also include a durable financial power of attorney, a healthcare power of attorney, an advance directive, and a HIPAA authorization. Depending on your goals, a revocable living trust may help avoid probate and add privacy. The right combination depends on your family's circumstances, which an attorney can help you evaluate.
What happens in Tennessee if a family member dies without a will?
If someone dies without a will, Tennessee's intestacy rules determine who inherits their property based on their surviving relatives. Those default rules may not match what the person actually wanted, and they offer no chance to name a guardian for minor children or choose who settles the estate. Having a valid will lets a person make those choices themselves rather than leaving them to a statutory formula.
How do I bring up estate planning with an aging parent without upsetting them?
Frame the conversation around organization and peace of mind rather than money or death. Mentioning that you recently updated your own documents, or offering to help locate and organize their important papers, often feels less intrusive than asking directly about their estate. Respect their privacy about specific values and let the goal simply be confirming that a current plan exists and that the family knows where to find it.
My relative already has a trust. Does anything still need to be reviewed?
Yes. A trust only controls assets that have actually been retitled into it, so confirming the trust is funded is important, because many people sign a trust and never move accounts or property into it. It is also worth confirming the named successor trustee is still the right person and that the related pour-over will and beneficiary designations are consistent with the trust. An attorney can review these details.
We noticed a parent is declining. Is it too late to plan?
It depends on the situation, which is why acting promptly matters. Signing documents such as a power of attorney requires sufficient capacity, so the sooner these conversations happen, the more options a family has. Long-term care and Medicaid strategies also work best when started well before care is needed. If a loved one has already lost capacity, a court process like conservatorship may be necessary, and an attorney can explain the available paths.
Start the New Year With a Plan in Place
A holiday gathering in Franklin is a rare chance to get the whole family in one room and talk, gently and honestly, about the documents that protect everyone. Whether you discover that a will is missing, that powers of attorney were never signed, or that a trust was never funded, the important thing is to turn that conversation into action before the momentum fades.
Dale Law Group, PLLC helps Tennessee families create, review, and update wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and the full range of estate planning documents. Based in Murfreesboro at 2615 Medical Center Parkway Suite 1560, the firm serves clients across all of Tennessee, from Franklin and Nashville to every corner of the state.
When you are ready to turn your holiday conversation into a real plan, call 866-576-5317 to schedule a consultation or ask about the firm's free Wills and Trusts Workshop. A short step now can spare your family a great deal later.